The moment his arms went around me, I burst into tears.Stroking my hair and kissing the top of my head, he mumbled things to me like he had when I was a kid; every other sentence was, "I love you, Baby."I'm not sure how long we stood there, but when the nurse gave me a shot, everyone had left the room but Brad and his parents. Dad told me he and Mom were going to be with Joyie's parents all night and that I was going to spend the night at Brad's house.On the way home, I mentioned Doug and Brad told me that Mom was calling Mrs. Mason. A few minutes later, I went to sleep and didn't know anything else until I woke up the next morning on Brad's bed. Stretched out beside me, he brushed his fingers over my cheek.He was dressed in a tee-shirt and jeans. I was wearing my panties and a tee-shirt that was several sizes too big for me.He feather-kissed my lips."Everything hurts," I said softly as tears filled my eyes. "I feel like I'm breaking to pieces."Kissing me again, he whispered, "I. Every one of them that werebrought up in the hypnosis was of me asking my mother when I was going tobe a girl or telling my mom that I was a girl. There was one memory of mysister letting me wear on of her old dresses and I was so happy! Myhappiest times were of me pretending to be a mom or a wife or a princess. It's all I ever talked about. Dr. Anderson told me to think about thatand that we would talk about it next visit. It only took me a few minutesto realize that I still felt that way. I desperately felt like I waswrong. It all made sense now. The way I would stare at the girls in highschool; I didn't want them, I wanted to BE them! I WAS them, at least inmy heart and soul. I also knew why I hid it. My father caught me dressedin my mother's clothes and he beat the hell out of me. My mother neveryelled at him and told me that it was for my own good. I am deathlyafraid of him and now I know why I hate my mother so much. I idolized heras a child and she let me down. .
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